Immune To Invisibility.

I don’t know what I want to do.

For most of my childhood and my teenage years, I have adapted to being hidden. It’s the feeling where people can see you, but not truly see you. I guess you can say I am misunderstood by literally everyone. However, I’m quite used to it, and sometimes I don’t know if I want to be seen or stay the mysterious woman I’ve always been.

Recently, when I started writing about topics on my blog, I wondered whether it might not actually go anywhere, since that’s how most of my projects turn out. But this is hidden for a reason, and I tell myself it’s okay, it’s just a hobby. But is that what I truly want?

No one ever tells you that being twenty-three can be difficult, basically because everything almost feels up in the air, and everything appears to be temporary. Currently, I’m not working…just in school, and I don’t even know what direction my career is going in. For the first time in a while, I want to be sure about something in my life and not question the next step. I was writing a book, putting it on hold due to the pressure, and I began writing this.

I dreamt big about my book, and that dream still lives; however, I’m afraid of dreaming big about this. I don’t want to lose hope in something I am enjoying, even though it is fairly new.

So I guess today’s questions are, should this stay a hobby?

Do you ever feel lost in finding something that makes you happy? Do you ever get stuck sometimes? Is this all a part of being in your twenties?